February 2, 2013
February 2, 2013 by Leave a Comment
70-80% of women do not experience orgasm through vaginal intercourse.
Most women experience orgasm through clitoral stimulation.
Which is why it makes sense for women to experiment with having at least one orgasm before vaginal intercourse begins, so that the body is warmed up and can more fully enjoy penetration.
Depending on the woman’s body, it is possible that intercourse itself will feel much better this way.
Is this something you regularly do, or is it something to request or experiment with and see how it feels?
January 26, 2013
January 26, 2013 by Leave a Comment
There are so many factors that go into having fantastic and fulfilling sex.
We have to know what we like and be able to ask for it.
We have to be able to negotiate clearly in general in the relationship as well as in the heat of the moment and we must be skilled in the art of offering and receiving pleasure.
These are all important factors, but the core element of being a fabulous lover, is developing the skill of really paying attention.
To be really present to the sex that is happening we have to pay attention to our lover’s emotional state, mood and body’s reactions as well as simultaneously being present to our own body and its changing needs and desires.
To be the best lover we can be, we each have to develop the skill of having our own attention both within our own body and at the same time focused on our lover’s body.
This is simple but not easy. Learning to have our attention in two places at once is a practice we can constantly develop and improve on.
Doing so will allow us to become a better lover and enjoy the sex we are having even more, as we are soaking it all in more fully.
To develop the skill of paying attention we just have to practice it again and again.
Practice makes perfect.
Get to it!
January 12, 2013
January 12, 2013 by Leave a Comment
I’m talking to the women here.
I advocate learning to “Take your pleasure”.
I guarantee you, all your lover wants is to make you sexually satisfied and fulfilled.
Sometimes, that means your lover wants to be used for your pleasure.
You have to give yourself permission to take your pleasure, to choose this for yourself and then to unabashedly use your lover for your own pleasure.
Your lover will be thrilled and grateful for the experience.
What would it look like for you to find your pleasure and then to take your pleasure?
Red Riding
January 3, 2013 by Leave a Comment
Available For Purchase: $300
To have a fully alive sexuality we have to actively choose how we want to be making love. It is important to notice what makes us feel sexy, erotic, alive and powerful in the world. To expand our erotic range we can pay attention to images around us we find empowering and sexy and be sure to log them in your mind-fodder-bank (aka your brain) and retrieve them when you want. For instance, rolling the sensations of a particularly appealing sex act over in your mind when you are getting in the mood for a sexual encounter, or have ideas at the ready to be able to spontaneously act them out with a lover or alternatively test drive ideas during your solo fantasy time and see how they feel.
Having a vision of different sex acts or sexual experiences we want to try in our future sex life, especially if we are having sex with the same person and plan to be for many years is an essential piece of keeping an erotic life alive and evolving. Keep your eyes open for moments or visions that you genuinely find erotic – allow that to be potentially distinct from what others may find hot. We each have our own style and flavor of sexuality, keep an open mind and open eyes about how yours might evolve this year.
So I invite you to notice images or ideas that may make you feel sexy, powerful, hot and delicious and see if you can create the opportunity to act out one vision this month. Seeing images we find beautiful, striking, sexy or (insert adjective that turns you on) is one powerful way we fuel our erotic imagination and keep our sexuality revving.
I personally enjoy taking in the sensations of what this depiction of sex feels like. She feels powerful and sexy to me. Do you like the sensations this image invites, what does this sex act evoke for you? If this does not do much for you, notice what might you prefer instead.