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To have a fully alive sexuality we have to actively choose how we want to be making love. It is important to notice what makes us feel sexy, erotic, alive and powerful in the world. To expand our erotic range we can pay attention to images around us we find empowering and sexy and be sure to log them in your mind-fodder-bank (aka your brain) and retrieve them when you want. For instance, rolling the sensations of a particularly appealing sex act over in your mind when you are getting in the mood for a sexual encounter, or have ideas at the ready to be able to spontaneously act them out with a lover or alternatively test drive ideas during your solo fantasy time and see how they feel.

Having a vision of different sex acts or sexual experiences we want to try in our future sex life, especially if we are having sex with the same person and plan to be for many years is an essential piece of keeping an erotic life alive and evolving. Keep your eyes open for moments or visions that you genuinely find erotic – allow that to be potentially distinct from what others may find hot. We each have our own style and flavor of sexuality, keep an open mind and open eyes about how yours might evolve this year.

So I invite you to notice images or ideas that may make you feel sexy, powerful, hot and delicious and see if you can create the opportunity to act out one vision this month. Seeing images we find beautiful, striking, sexy or (insert adjective that turns you on) is one powerful way we fuel our erotic imagination and keep our sexuality revving.

I personally enjoy taking in the sensations of what this depiction of sex feels like. She feels powerful and sexy to me. Do you like the sensations this image invites, what does this sex act evoke for you? If this does not do much for you, notice what might you prefer instead.